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A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

I already knew I was dumber than the fifth graders…
but now it’s the preschoolers??

A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

Which way is the bus below traveling?
To the left or to the right?

Can’t make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.

Pre-schoolers all over the United States
were shown this picture and asked the same question.
90% of the pre-schooler’s gave this answer.

Which way is the bus below traveling?
To the left or to the right?

Can’t make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.

Pre-schoolers all over the United States
were shown this picture and asked the same question.
90% of the pre-schooler’s gave this answer.

“The bus is traveling to the left.”

How do you feel now ???

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house — mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are  hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes, T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the
following:

In your 20’s
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50’s
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms’.

In your 60’s
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70’s
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80’s
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Walmart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

According to Cosmo, by the time you reach date four, you often need to decide whether to get more serious or get out. And with savvy detective work you can spare yourself disappointment later. To avoid wasting time on a dead-end dude, find out the following.

How Does He Feel About His Job? His career attitude can reveal if your lives are likely to mesh or clash — provided you can take the conversation beyond takes of crabby bosses and overdue TPS reports. The important thing to ask is “Do you like what you do?” If he goes on about work and mentions his long hours or second job, you can kiss seeing him at a decent time good-bye. Or maybe you’re busting you butt to live big in a city, but he’s eager to ditch his office and start an organic farm. Good to know now, right?

What Was His Last Relationship Like? As awkward as it is, ex talk is incredibly useful in predicting how he’ll act when he’s no longer on his best dating behavior. Get him to open up with flattery. Tell him “You’re such a cool guy. What kind of girl would let you get away?” It’s a compliment that also leads to discussion. A mature, compassionate guy typically will list a few of his ex’s good qualities before explaining why things just didn’t work out. If he scowls a lot, shakes his head repeatedly, or drops some harsh criticism, odds are that his lack of patience and understanding was part of the problem.

How Does He Handle Debt? First off, debt isn’t always bad. A guy with student loans is in “smart debt” — it’s an investment that will pay off. You need to look out for the guy who is in the weeds for the big plasma TV he just had to have…and is planning to buy a top-of-the-line road bike next. How he manages money is a bigger indicator of character than how much he has. It shows if he takes the responsibility for his actions. Talking about the economy is an easy way to shift the conversation toward finances. Then zero in on bills saying, “I’m so happy I just paid off my credit cards. Have you run up any debt on those things?” If he’s made some unwise financial decisions, it’s not a total deal breaker, so long as he mentions cutting back and making good on what he owes.

Paisley OK after fall at show